Brexit came as a big shock for many people in the UK, from entrepreneurs and small businesses whose livelihoods depended on access to the EU single market to those whose self-identity was European, not just British. We experienced a sense of grief and loss for what once had been, like a death of a loved one, gone forever and not coming back.
It has taken a toll on our mental and physical health. Our minds and bodies were impacted by the stress response, a nervous system reaction to feeling threatened. It triggered the release of adrenaline and cortisol, impacting sleep, appetite, making it difficult to function at our best. And as time has passed inexorably since Brexit came into full force on Jan 1st 2021, we are experiencing the five stages of grief.
Denial
Feeling numb is common in the early days after the passing of a loved one. Many anti-Brexiters first carried on as if nothing had happened. Even if we knew that our EU citizen status was gone it was hard to accept that somehow things would change, believing that the vote could be overturned and that normal service would soon be resumed.
Anger
And then same the anger. directed at those who had voted for Brexit, even close friends and family who were oblivious to our emotional pain. It seemed so cruel and unfair; we had plans for the future, all gone gone. The EU was to blame too. How could they simply strip us of EU citizenship because of a vote that we did not subscribe to? Anger at very idea of being British, a small islander, at the death of a dream.
Bargaining
We looked at ways to circumnavigate Brexit. Looking for grandparents in Ireland, in Italy, in any EU country that would allow us to claim EU residency. We looked at what facilities the EU were offering us and found that they were always for the benefit for corporations or the very wealthy. Emails were sent, inquires made, web sites read , residency laws studied, free trade deals examined in minutiae. To no avail. There is no bargaining with death.
Depression
Our European friends abandoned us. They stopped trading, sometimes blaming us individually for a collective decision. We were pariahs, the stupid people of Europe. No love or sympathy was shown. Left alone in a dark room, our business collapsing, our best laid plans shot to shit, we plunged into a depression.
Acceptance
Grief came in waves and it felt like nothing would ever be right again. But gradually the pain eased, and it was possible to accept what had happened. We will never ‘get over’ Brexit, but we learned to forgive those who voted for it, as they now see how they were taken in by a deception. We have forgiven the EU for stripping us of our right to exist in the EU continent as free beings and shackling us in the chains of Brexit.
Life carries on, and the present is for the living. We have adapted our businesses to deal with the new reality- even closed them down – and have moved on to developing different skills travelling down other life paths. Brexit for many of us has been an opportunity. Perhaps we were stuck in a rut, complacent and needing a kick up the rear. Some of those who are actually better off than before Brexit feel shame. We place flowers on the grave of our European identity
Still, we remember those days when we were free to roam the continent as citizens of Europe, without the curse of the Brexit, in the age of innocence before scheming politicians messed it all up. And there is a corpse buried in our back yard. We have gone through the grief process just to realise that we are the killers of our loved ones. Death by democracy, our passports are black, the Union Jack has become the scythe of the grim reaper.
